I found myself doing this a while back. Upon reflection at the time I realized that I was not in a state of preparedness to do good things. When given a choice I did what would feel better. We need to be in good spiritual shape just as we need to be in good physical shape. Our will needs to be strengthened and positioned to respond yes or no to any situation. We may think it doesn’t affect others but it does, ultimately, because of guilt from a betrayal, the building up of a bad attitude or being diminished in someone else’s eyes. I know it’s trite, but think “What would Jesus do?” This will get us closer to the mind of Jesus. With faith and trust we can then be ready to respond in the best way possible knowing that, in the end, it will be a bigger blessing to all concerned. So be in the Word, be in prayer daily (even multiple times), take time to reflect on what God is teaching us and you will then be living life in the Spirit.