As the old saying goes, “it takes two to tango!” If we are having trouble with more than one relationship – maybe we are the problem, not the others. In order to transform a relationship into a positive one from a negative one, we must be transformed inside first. How? Well, first we probably have to slow down and take stock of the situations we find ourselves in. I must become more aware of, not only other people’s reactions, but my own. What triggered an unpleasant response? Did I open my mouth before my brain? Hastiness is an obstacle to intimacy. Jesus’ brother, James, taught us, “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. Human agner does not produce the righteousness God desires.” My inputs create reactions, so I must be more careful and considerate of others. God can work with that!